In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
Chivalrous men are not easy to find. What we see often out there are unmanly guys who can't even carry a sack of rice on their backs, or carry or push a baby stroller without complaining. It seems as though chivalrous men are a symbol of the past and now are officially gone.
But don't despair, decent men do still exist. Keep these important qualities in mind when looking for Mr. Right, so you don't lose sight of him.
Knows his purpose in life
A man who knows his purpose in life is a man worth marrying. He will remain confident while pursuing his life's goals and what drives his soul. Because he knows his purpose, he will probably be more prepared to face any shortcomings. Since he has this quality, he will continue to be an inspirational force in your life after you two are married.
Strong moral code
A man who abides by a moral code is definitely a keeper. He is the type of man who knows the difference between right and wrong. He always grounds his decisions in life on an understanding of a high moral ground. A man who prides himself in morality and becomes your future husband will definitely instill moral values in your children.
Faithful
A man who is faithful not only to you, but also to God, will make for a great husband. This type of man will value the gift of marriage. He will also value your importance in his life as his wife and the mother to his children. His faithfulness to you will also underlie the steps he takes to keep your marriage stable for your children. In addition, a God-fearing man will let God unify and strengthen your relationship, will highly prioritize your marriage, and will make sure morals form the foundation of your family.
Good relationship with his family
A man who has a close and loving relationship with his family is a man you want to be with. This type of man knows the importance of family and truly cherishes family time. He will most likely place great importance on family after he marries you and begins to raise a family with you. Also, a man who treats his mother with respect will most likely treat you with respect and is obviously worth having as a husband.
Understands the sanctity of marriage
A man who truly understands the real purpose and importance of marriage will most likely uphold a life-long commitment of fidelity and love to you and the children that will potentially result from your marriage.
Respects human life
A man who values the sanctity of human life from womb to tomb will also make a great husband. A man who knows that human life is precious will be more open to welcoming children into the world after you get married. He will also do his best to ensure that the elderly in your family are cared for, protected, and live their life to the fullest.
Shared life goals
Apart sharing the same belief, a man who shares similar life goals with you will make for a great husband. Sharing that similarity with you, he will most likely support your efforts in life. He will always be there to comfort you when you hit your lows and rejoice with you when you achieve your goals. Walking along the same trajectory in life, you both will most likely maintain a strong marriage, despite any setbacks you may face.
Hard work ethic
A man who has a hard work ethic will make a good husband. He will never give up when working towards his ambitions. He will always work hard to provide your future family financial support, no matter what circumstances come his way. He will also instill this same value in your future children. A man stricken with a case of the "entitlement mentality," you should stay away from.
Selfless
A man who puts others before himself and gives a helping hand to those in need is a man you should not overlook. A man who values selflessness will most likely be a loving, supportive husband and father. When he becomes your husband, he will also encourage your children to be charitable towards others in your community. A man who has a heart for humanity is a man you want to be with for the rest of your life.
Honors your femininity
A man who recognizes your beauty, inside and out, and honors your femininity is worth keeping. He will respect you as a woman and have a better understanding of your purpose in your marriage. He will value you completely, not only for your physical appearance or features. A man who cherishes this quality in a woman will also teach his daughters to maintain their femininity and self-worth as they get older.
Decent men are becoming scarce everywhere, but know in your heart that there is a pious decent man out there who would love to make you his wife one day. Likewise, he has a similar plight--finding a pious lady to marry, a lady who cherishes her femininity, does not conform to the morally decayed culture, and is not swayed by the false promises of third-wave feminism.
Do your homework. A decent man that you want to share a beautiful marriage with is out there. Although he may not be easy to spot, he will come and "sweep you off your feet" when you least expect it. Just make sure that he has these 10 qualities, so you know you are heading on the right track.
Don't be sad if all your friends are married and you are not. Don't rush to marry. So what if your biological clock is ticking? Do not let the whispers of shaytan lead you astray. Accept Allah's decree and thank Him for His blessings. Be kind to yourself, and remember that there are millions of women who are not married, and there are millions of couples who can't have children. Perhaps if you saw the wife who has a hard-hearted husband who shows no compassion, and you heard her complaints about her continual suffering, you would praise Allah for saving you from marriage. Perhaps if you sit with a divorced woman, who regretted having married, and listen to her complaints and sufferings during her marriage and just now able to regain her sense of security, you would praise Allah for not giving you a husband and save you the troubles. Perhaps if you sit with a struggling single mother, who is chasing after her little kids while trying to work; or perhaps if you watch parents with their troubled teenagers, you might realize that the grass isn't so green on the other side.
Allah Almighty says,
فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّـهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا ...[Qur'an al-Nisa’ 4:19]
...Perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
ٱلْخَبِيثَـٰتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَٱلْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَـٰتِ ۖ وَٱلطَّيِّبَـٰتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَٱلطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَـٰتِ ۚ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ ۖ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِيمٌ ﴿٢٦[Qur'an An-Nur 24:26]
Corrupt women for corrupt men, and corrupt men for corrupt women; good women for good men, and good men for good women -- these are declared quit of what they say; theirs shall be forgiveness and generous provision.
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّـهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ﴿٣٠﴾ وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَـٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ أَخَوَٰتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُهُنَّ أَوِ ٱلتَّـٰبِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُو۟لِى ٱلْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ ٱلرِّجَالِ أَوِ ٱلطِّفْلِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا۟ عَلَىٰ عَوْرَٰتِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱللَّـهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ ﴿٣١[Qur'an An-Nur 24:30-31]
And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed. (31)
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ قُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَـٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ ٱللَّـهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ ﴿٦[Qur'an At-Tahrim 66:6]
O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded. (6)
May Allah grant you tawfiq. Ameen.
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
Related Archives:
Where are the Chivalrous Men?
A Woman You Don't Want To Be or Be With
Choose Your Friend Carefully
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