The Greatest Love Story

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you and your family are well.

She was one of the wealthiest women in Makkah, very beautiful and intelligent, and although she lived at the time of ignorance, she never bowed to an idol and she followed Ibrahim, alayhissalaam's religion of Tawheed (Oneness of God). She was very different from many other women and no woman was near her level. Among Quraysh, she was always referred to as "At-Taahirah (the pure). This label among the Quraysh was the ultimate praise. This did not mean, of course, that all the other women in Makkah were impure, but it meant that her manners, her Iman, her kindness was beyond all the others.

This was the person that Allah chose for the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam, our mother, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, may Allah be pleased with her.

How did they meet? When Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam was 25 years old, the Quraysh was preparing to send another caravan to Damascus. This caravan was also going to carry Khadijah’s goods. As usual, Khadijah was looking for reliable and trustworthy men to deliver her goods.

Khadijah was a relative of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam, from both her mother's and father’s side. One day, Abu Talib, the paternal uncle of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam, went to Khadijah and asked her if she would employ his nephew. She replied, ‘If you told me to do a favor for a man that was of no relation to you and was bad, I would accept him because of your honor and status so if you ask me to do a favor for a man that is your relative and is honest, then how can I refuse him?’

So she employed Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam and sent him on his first expedition accompanied by Maysara, Khadijah's servant. The journey came back with more profit than usual. On their return, Khadijah went to Maysara and asked him to tell her all the details of the expedition. Maysara said he had three stories to tell about Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam. He said, “This man is a wonder! Even though the sun was blearing down on the people, there was a cloud in the sky and it seemed to me that it was following Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam. When he moved, it moved with him and when he was still or seated, it stayed above him. So I thought of a plan to test him. I asked him to have a race with me and as he ran, it followed him the whole way. So while everyone was sweating and tired from the heat, he was protected from the sun.

“The second story is stranger than the first. I found him one day sleeping under a tree under the sun. Then the tree moved its branches as if to shade him from the sun. I thought it was the wind. At that moment, a rabbi passed by and called to me. He said ‘Oh Maysara! Who is that man sleeping under the tree?’ I replied ‘he is Muhammad Ibn Abdullah, one of the traders from the land of the Haram. He said, ‘He is a Prophet. No man has ever slept under that tree except that he was a prophet.’

“The third thing that happened was that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam was dealing in the market with the people. A Jewish man came and asked him the price of an item. Muhammad told him the price and the Jew began to bargain with him. The Jew said to him, ‘Do you swear by Al-lat and Al-uzza (two idols that were worshipped in the time of ignorance)?’. Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam's face turned red and he said, ‘By Allah, I swear that I never bowed to them to swear by them!’. The man took the item for the price that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam said. Then he called me over and said ‘Stick to that man for he is the last prophet!’ and was gone.”

As you can imagine, Khadijah was wide eyed when she heard this news because she had some background information about this matter. Previously, her cousin Waraqa Ibn Nawfal had told her all the details of the last prophet that was found in the Torah. Waraqa was a knowledgeable Christian and was not in favor of idol worshipping. He was a quiet and wise old man and had lost his eyesight. It said in the Torah that the last prophet will come from the land of the Haram and the time is soon. Also, once there was a celebration when all the women of Quraysh gathered together to celebrate and Khadijah was among them. Suddenly, a Jewish man came into the women's area and said “O, women of Quraysh, the time of the last prophet is now so if you get a chance to wed him, seize it!”. The women became annoyed because he entered on them like that and began to throw stones at him - all except Khadijah. She smiled and did not touch the stones.

After these things built up in her mind, Khadijah began to pay more attention to Muhammad sallalllahu alayhi wassallam and enquire about him. Khadijah had a close friend, Nafisa bint Mounya, who she related all the events to. She initiated the marriage in the purest way. Nafisa said, ‘What is on your mind?’ She replied, “Muhammad Ibn Abdullah. I've never seen a man like him. He is polite and generous, he is manly and he is from a noble family but above all, he is going to be a leader and I have a feeling that he is the last prophet.” So Nafisa said, “I hope that he will become your husband. So do you give me permission to speak about the matter?” Khadijah replied, “Go ahead!”

Notice, when Khadijah was looking for a husband, what did she look for? She looked for the person's characteristics, not material things. She was clearly deeply admiring Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam, what young people might call "love". It points out that is not something that is wrong or sinful. When young people fall into sin because of “love”, it is not the fault of love but it is how they obtained it. Look at what homes are built on these days. A man may fancy himself in love with a woman and marry her because he sees her as beautiful in her inappropriate clothing and adornments or she has blue eyes which turns out that they’re just blue contact lens. What an illusion!

Many girls of today are having problems finding a good husband. Why? Because they have the wrong priority -- they look for looks and/or wealth. And some girls don't even know what they are looking for. They just want to get married. There is no plan in her mind. They don't think ‘I want a husband with such-and-such attributes so we can build such-and-such a home and so Allah could say such-and-such to us on the Day of Judgement.’ So imagine now, At-Taahirah (the pure) marrying As-Saadiq Al-Amin (the truthful trustworthy). What kind of children will they have? What kind of household will they have? What kind of ending will they have?

Why is there such a high divorce rate? Why do people get divorced after just months or even weeks of marriage? It is because they didn't approach marriage the right way. They didn't choose right. They have nothing planned before the marriage and nothing planned after the marriage so it turned out that they earn haram and eat haram and live in sin together. There is no blessing in their marriage. And you wonder why many youngsters nowadays are a great challenge for their parents and societies -- drugs, rebellious kids, fornication, baby killing, youth crimes, truancy, school dropouts, not praying, bad behavior, etc. Scholars warned parents if your children displayed bad behavior, don't be too quick to blame them and get angry at them. Instead, first look at what you have been feeding them -- their stomachs, their eyes and other limbs. Perhaps you are the cause for such bad behavior because you have been feeding them haram. To remedy this, stop feeding them haram.

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said that: "A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” [Bukhari and Muslim].

Whoever has their eyes on the religion of Allah, Allah will help and save them in their life. This hadith encourages us to seek the company of religiously-committed people in all things, including in marriage, because the one who keeps company with them will benefit from their good attitude and good ways, and will be safe from any bad influence. It's not about how tall, how handsome, how fair, how much sense of humor the other person has, what job security the other person has, rather it is about how much one can help the other to fulfill the duty to Allah and in doing good in this life and in applying the sunnah in their life together. Because only by doing these that one can expect true happiness and success in this life before the next, in marriage or otherwise.

"Allah does not look at your forms (shapes) and bodies but He looks at your hearts (and your deeds)." [Muslim]

Many boys and girls of today think it is very normal to laugh with the opposite gender or talk on the phone or messaging to each other. This is lack of haya' (modesty, shame, shyness). Islam encourages and treasures haya’. It is one of the most important characteristics that each and every Muslim should acquire and possess.

"Haya’ and Iman (faith) are two that go together. If one is lifted, the other is also lifted.” [Hakim]

"Al-Haya’ is part of Iman.” “Haya’ does not produce but goodness.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

“Among the things that people have found from the words of the previous prophets was: ‘If you feel no shame, then do as you wish.’” [Bukhari]

When these girls and these boys get married, what did they have in mind? Did they get married because she has a Message and he has a Message and they want to raise their children by that Message and teach them to worship and obey Allah and to keep family ties? Did they get married to impress the people with big weddings or to please Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassalaam?

The two greatest women that ever lived were Maryam bint Imran and Khadijah bint Khuwaylid because of their purity and modesty.

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), said: 'The best women of mankind are four: Maryam daughter of 'Imran, Assiya wife of Pharaoh, Khadijah daughter of Khuwaylid, and Fatima the daughter of the Messenger of Allah.' [Bukhari and Muslim]

So Nafisa went to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam and said to him “Do you wish to marry?” He said “I don’t have money to marry.” She replied “If we solved that problem, if money is not an issue? What if the woman is beautiful, pure, intelligent all in one, what do you say?” He said, “Who are you talking about?” Nafisa replied, “Khadijah bint Khuwaylid” He said, “Would she agree to that?” She said, “I’ll ask her and get back to you.” She returned to tell Khadijah and of course Khadijah was over the moon and they were married. She was 40 years old and he was 25 years old at the time.

The love between them lasted after marriage for 25 years and beyond her death for 15 years until Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam died. The same love. This is truly the greatest love story of all time founded upon the true love of the One.

Narrated Abu Hurairah: Jibril (Gabriel) alayhissalaam came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam and said: "O Allah's Messenger! This is Khadijah, coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a palace made of Qasab in Paradise, wherein there will be neither any noise nor any toil, (fatigue, trouble, etc.)." [Bukhari]

A Companion of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam narrated that whenever any gift was brought to him he would immediately send it to a lady who had been a friend of Khadijah. Aisha, a favorite wife of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam said that whenever a goat was slaughtered the Prophet would send some meat to Khadijah's friends; when she remarked about this on one occasion he told her, 'I have great regard for her friends, as she has a special place in my heart.' Aisha said she never experienced such a feeling of natural feminine jealousy for any other wife of the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wassallam as she did for Khadijah. She also narrated that whenever the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wassallam spoke of her he would talk at great length and praise her qualities, and pray for her forgiveness.

Aisha narrated that whenever the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam talked about Khadijah, it was in terms of the highest praise. One day her innate feminine envy overtook her sense of decorum and she spoke in disparaging terms of her, wondering why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam missed her when he was blessed with a better, younger wife by Allah. This displeased him, but forbearing as he was, he just sighed and answered, "I have not yet found a better wife than her. She had faith in me when everyone, even members of my own family and tribe did not believe me, and accepted that I was truly a Prophet and a Messenger of Allah. She converted to Islam, spent all her wealth and worldly goods to help me spread this faith, and this too at a time when the entire world seemed to have turned against me and persecuted me. And it is through her that Allah blessed me with children."

May Allah increase us in our love for the beloved Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassalaam, his noble family and his noble Companions. Ameen.

Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakum Allahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Video -- The Prophet's Home with Khadijah